From a Boy to a Man

Act BEFORE you think!

Yeah, you read right, Act before you think. Right? Wrong. I’m both a victim and villain to this. Today I saw someone snap at someone in such a way that it would make Richrd Pryor jump outta his grave and say ‘Oh snap! that was COLD”. yeah dawg… it did ruff. Di yute nuh do nutten too tuff neida. Mi jus see it and guh mi ways.

Why though? Why do we act before we think? I guess its all we know. Well some of us. I think thinking is much harder to do than acting and being the impulsive human beings we are, we do what comes naturally. And what’s natural is what’s culturally acceptable. No way two lesbians are going to kiss in Downtown Kingston as they would in New York as I saw a few months ago. Why?

1. We nuh ramp fi fling stone!- Yeah, we ignorant fi dem fi real

2. It’s not an accepted cultural/social act

But back to the point

Words are a powerful thing. People have taken their own lives because of how they’re treated. It’s amazing how the sequence of words in a sentence can make or break a day. Im sure di yute was happy go lucky when him go over to the person and after… proble flt like shit.

i FELT HORRIBLE for the yute and it wasnt even me. We need to think before we act.

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You can never choose the lessons you’re taught.

And that’s one of the reasons why life sucks. I consider myself one of the luckiest/blessed persons in the world, who’s done some pretty shitty stuff(pardon the language, but if you know me you’d probably relate).

The situation I’m talking about now is a notebook I lost last week Wednesday with three interviews that I did, one with an agency that helps young kids with what they want to do in life, one with an artiste by the name of Courtney John and one by the name of Zumjay.

So today I began searching for the book and as I’m walking, I’m instantly reminded of the time when I lost my wallet and for some reason I had no reason to worry, because, somehow, I know It would be found. You know… keeping that positive attitude…” Never ever give up” kinda thing. BUt each search led to a dead end.. and I’m running out of searches and time..

I’m not worried about the Courtney John one, I can easily re-do that one, the agency can be re-done too. But Zumjay is all the way in Iraq, in the United States Army Reserves. *sigh* It’s frustrating because all these interviews have been done at least 2 months before today and due to a procrastinating nature, I failed to complete them…

That’s one of the things I hate about myself. I procrastinate too damn much!!!. And I take things for granted. Not in the abusive way, but in the ‘I can do that some other time’ way. Hence, I put things down and then they become late work. Mind you theyre some really well written pieces, but… still late.. (I lost a jobI because of late work by the way) It’s caused potential clients to disregard my work, because my work ethic has dropped. Now, ideally, I should blame my parents, cuz,yeah, I see them do it alll the time. But this is my life and my parents aren’t going to matter when I give in a huge report late are they? I guess, if I don’t find the book it’s lesson I’ll have to take and move on and take the lessons that come with it..

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I can never get enough of women…

[To my female readers]..I PROBABLY know what you’re thinking…”He’s a dog” or “Typical MAN” No I’m not. I never considered myself typical in any sense of the word. But that’s another story. Yeah.. so when I say I cant get enough of women, I mean they’re so interestingly complicated that even though I get sick of the nagging and bickering, I cant help but listen. Why? It helps me get inside their minds.. why they do the things they do and say the things they say.

Now, you’re probably wondering why such a random thing..I’m kinda the unofficial “King” of random. But this was put on by the nagging tendencies of my mother who just ALWAYS has a story to tell when I get home and I listen more out of respect than interest.

To be honest… women can get HELLA annoying.. oh GAWD yes! Us men CANT STAND to be around them 24/7.. Ive never done it before but more time mi feel like fi chip couple badwud offa mi modda cuz she just rides ma nerves [And yea, I’m serious] [if you find a guy who’s around a woman too much, they’re either REALLY clingy or just really gay]

But it just amazes how they can cuss, have THAT much attitude, be bitchy, suss, and every other million things and still be loving, beautiful and generous..[Dont know how homos do it.. even when I’m pissed flipping angry @ a woman.. no batty to di ting]

I even made a quote that sums women up… and their ways at least.

“If U look past the annoying ways, nagging tendencies, the way she irritates you till you just can’t stand to see her, constant worrying and complaining, the way she conveniently remembers what U did 15million yrs ago and links it to an issue so precisely you’ll find a woman who just wants the best from you”

Simply put… women are amazing…

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20 Random stuff about me…

1. I believe that I’m a part of a dying breed of weirdly, comical, ‘gentle-manly’ , hard-working, chivalrous nice guys who don’t sell out for the ‘thug’ persona and be true to themselves, their morals and wouldn’t intentionally hurt women. and that’s my problem. .I need more backbone.

2. I pride myself on my V status and would have it no other way. When I do (8) put a ring on it (8) that’s when the fun begins ;) [hehe]

3. I think everything has a purpose in life, except roaches

4. I’m VERY observant and at times will just watch people and learn my way around them. 

5. The whole ‘I’m such a little kid- I don’t know what I’m doing’ thing is a facade. I have plans of being the best out there even if it means acting like I don’t know what the heck is going on .I just pretend to be “dumb” cuz it throws people off. LOL To this day people from High School say that I should be at Utech and not UWI cuz I acted dumb around em [haha] ASSES

6. When I was younger, I cried a lot. I remember I was in 1st form and this girl tell me [suck yuh mada (inaudible)]. But since then I’ve stopped the practice. My tears are important. if I cry for you, you deserved it.

7. I love everyone. Even all the people who make jokes cuz o my V status.. Like D.D. I can’t say I hate anyone. BUT I have a habit of secretly judging people.

8. Like Gordon, I do believe I’m destined to do something great, even if it means starting out as a janitor. [ insyde thng]

9. If it wasn’t for YL I don’t know where I’d be. And that’s why I hold K-Lat in such a high esteem. he’s been good to me. {Keresa, you know more dan anyone]

10. I have a utopic, rather, I’m changing my utopic view of the world and people like Demar, Conrad, Kemesha, Keresa, Danelia, Gordon, IB, Toni, Ann-loy, Traci, Nicolette and all the other people I’ve met while at UWI/ in life have helped me change that so thanks guys.. :)

11 Yes I am NUFF/ Popular who cares? I like me. I think my ‘nuf-ness’ is a defence for some buried self-esteem issues. 

12. i SWEAR to God I was a sprint star in anotha lifetime. I love running. Give me a wide open field anyday and I’m good.

13. I love my mother to pieces even though she calls me every minute for the remote, scratch her back, massage her neck, do the kitchen thus defeating the purpose of a pair of TWINS in the house 

14. I think a lot. I’ll just sit and stare. No like seriouslya WHOLE LOT. In my mind… such crazy stuff happens. I’ve thought about how to do stuff without getting caught [like teef] and harm people without being blamed. So yes, I do have my own demons,…but I don’t let it show very often cuz I try to control it around company.

15. When I love, I love HARD.

16. I break out in song and dance and act all goofy at will. cuz with the amount of stuff I think about, it’s my release.

17. I’m HIGHLY critical of myself. If someone gives me a compliment, I’ll second guess it to see if I really deserved it. Cuz I’m kinda paranoid and have a hard time trusting people, or opening up. I’m very private

18. I do believe that because I deliberately take my time to grow I’ve come t appreciate people and things more and learnt not to take anything or anyone for granted. So if someone pisses me off, I wouldn’t let them know, I’ll smile and go easy. The only person who pisses me off til mi ready fi chip two word is ma brother and that’s how we show love…. annoy the crap outta each other.

19. I was born pre-mature and breached, and I have one kidney.

20. When I find 20 Ill let you know….

:)

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The Devil’s no fool..

At this moment, song Smokie Norful’s “God is able” is on repeat on the ipod of my mind. It’s playing because I have no way of knowing how I’m getting home, I havent fully studied for a mid-semester I have at 11:00 am tomorrow and to top it off I’ve got a hard-on to almost everything I’ve seen all day.

Yeah, shocking isnt it? Its like I just havent been able to fully focus on my work in the past couple o days, and its not because I’m my usual happy-go-lucky self. It has a lot to do with my mind and what’s playing on it and I have a theory why.

Earlier this week, I saw a tweet on that said “Thieves only come to loaded  vaults” meaning that unless you have something big in your posession, thieves wont attack. The moment I try to get work done, hormones kick in. I feel tempted to re-enact fantasies- that have nothing to do with my work and even though I’m a virgin, yes to some of you shocker there too- it feels real cuz,…ye I’m human too.

But I’m not gonna allow my hormones to dictate what I do and how I do my work. A lil while ago I got a text that just seemingly spoke to what was happening ” 1 Peter 5:8- Be sober, be vigilant because your adversary the devil is a roaring lion walking about seekiing whom he may devour”

That’s all I needed. I’m thinking straight now.. Oh and just got a call from my bro, so I have a ride home :)

ttyl!

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DAY 1- the new beginning

God is fully aware of your yesterdays, but He’s much more focused on your tomorrows”

So, I was reading the September issue of Men’s Health (and yes, I know its November now, I do this because I find it much more relaxing going through past issues and reading what I missed) and I come across a guy named Tom Lawson who weighed 353 lbs before going on a weight loss plan. He was a football player in high school who ate a whole lot and kept his life in check. But after quitting football and continuing his old eating habits he ballooned.

He’s 5’9, I’m 5’9.

He’s self-conscious about his weight, I’m that too and just wanna look and feel good.

I mean when it comes to a body frame, I’m OK, not good or great. I have defined shoulders, big and broad (I give a nice bear hug). But I’m overweight for my height- protruding stomach, man boobs, love handles, big bum. All I want is to have healthy happy life and a body that shows it. I mean which guy doesn’t want to be able to take his shirt off without having to feel bad?

What’s worse is that  not only is my body in this shape because of my own doing but also my life. My teenage years are now done and in retrospect, I’ve lived a lie. I was always that guy who could do what you wanted, whenever you call me I come. When I was asked to do something I’d do it then subconsciously falter on the next task then make it up then falter again. I still cant say why I do crap. Just like the guy who quit football, in trying to gain some perception of the real world, I’ve somewhat distanced myself from church. The music I listen to is different, people who I talk with are different, stuff I watch are different. I mean I made a promise to myself to being clean and was [ ] close to breaking it. And if I’m not careful I just may. And all this time I’ve had on a front.

• Add ‘spiritual’ messages on my statuses
• Talk to people about Christ
• Pretend to be someone I’m not

I’m not the Christian I used to be. I’m angrier, more on edge. and my summer? THAT was another thing altogether….

And that’s why this day, today is the start of a new beginning. I’m through with the junk food and the high sugar drinks. Through with lying (its habitual only when I find myself in messes) and making promises I cant keep. I’m also going to stop pretending to like people when I cant stand their guts. Oh and that addiction…I’mma stop that too. it serves no purpose! Did you ever notice that some of the most addicting things the stupidest ones to even begin with and only provide TEMPORARY relief stemming from a buried issue?

Why is this any different?

iT’S DIFFERENT cuz I’m going to journal about it. I’m going to be honest about everything and be humble when the shit hits the fan and not defend my stupid self. Change comes with sacrifice and if I have to sacrifice everything I’ve come to love then so let it be..

today is a new beginning…

What I had so far (as at 12:50 pm)

• a small pack of Roughtops (230 calories)
• a small pack of Butterkist vanilla sandwich cookies (180 calories)
• 1 fired egg
• 1 cup of mint tea
• 3 crackers
• Possibly letting the whole world know of my problems in aims of changing myself? Priceless..

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[Day 6] I love my mother..

Wasting time aka procrastinating is a heck of a thing. On one hand it seems like you have all the time in the world and you have a sense of freedom, a sense of having enough time which turns out to be a lie.

While on the other, there’s a lingering thought that you have something to do and it should be done and for whatever reason, it’s not being done.. and that’s the truth.

But with a lie like that and truth so annoyingly.. well…true what would you want to believe (I’ll take the lie for a $1000 please) Because, being diligent in anything is never easy. It takes a lot of sacrifice and the stupid thing with putting things off is that it affects everything else.

Like last night…. I had stopped from church to write a review of a concert  and swore I’d get it done on time. But thanks to being a habitual procrastinator I put it off to watch a movie about someone being tutored then taking the full examination (inside joke) And after watching two episodes of House I get a call from the editor asking for a review…I wasn’t even half finished.

The plan? Rush my brother off the PC and do it. Cue my mother’s return from church.. and she wants the PC.

I agree to let her have it after I’m done. She provokes me. Telling me I’ve been on it since forever [really?.. really!]  Words are thrown. She annoys me some more. She doesn’t stop. [ Why won’t women learn to quit?] I say something that’s of truth but she takes offense.. slaps me in the face.. I get angry and punch her door.

See… all that could have been avoided if she had just left me the heck alone…

It put everything it to perspective… the punching of the door, the words throwing, the uneasiness, the blatant disrespect. After the scene cooled we had a talk… she said she was going through some stuff.. i.e. my school fee not being paid yet [and yes this is the 2nd week in November] and being disrespected by daddy, me and my brother, having to deal with the fact that she almost went through a divorce and we may be put on the streets if we cant find the landlord’s hefty sum of close to 1/2 a million, while still being a working mother.

I felt horrible. It sent me back to my days of wanting to know what a real father felt like and what it is to be a man. I only found that when I developed a kinda big brother/lil brother relationship with my boss [which is currently on the rocks because of my countless disappointments to him..due to… you guessed it.. procrastinating]

I’m glad it happened though. It put back the love that was missing. We’re getting better. How do I know it? While sleeping last night, she comes into my room and kisses me on the cheek and caresses my head, even after breaking her door. I love my mother.

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The Climb…

It seems as if every time I say something, it comes to pass. Life and death is in what you say. When 2010 began I said its going to be a year of new beginnings. Last week Thursday confirmed it. I did something I never thought I could bring myself to. I disabled my Facebook account and stopped tweeting for one reason- the realization that I didn’t need them. I usually spend a lot of time tweeting, as evidenced by the over 13,000 tweets I’ve accumulated ( http://ow.ly/1ffPQ ) due to the lack of activity on Facebook.

I became hooked. I love them both! But as of late I’ve become more introspective and I’m learning a lot about myself, the hiatus from them facilitates this.

1. I have little to no ‘friends’ If I were to count how many ‘friends’ I have who truly challenge and push me to be better than I am now, the current crop that I have don’t do shit.  And that’s how I separate friends from associates or acquaintances. It brings to memory the time when Kareem taught me a lesson about the value of having good people around you. He said (and I’m paraphrasing here) ‘It’s better to have one good friend than many who cant make you better’ The ones I have now are all cliquey and don’t meet the requirements I set out in finding friends. To be honest, I don’t have a ‘best friend’ or anything close to it. PLus I know mostly girls so the guys are the ones who come close to teaching me something. I maybe hastily writing this though. But thanks to the people I see every day- Ann-Loy, Paul, Nicolette, Rushel, Traci, Candiese but mostly Gordon ( http://gordonswaby.com ) for being the few who test me and keep me in check. YL peeps do that too..but they’re family :)

2. I’ve been fooling myself for far too long See, this whole ‘fooling self’ thing started when I just hit the 8th grade and was placed in a new class with no sense of identity yet. Between looking for some semblance of who I was and trying to make friends, I became the funny guy, the one who’d make you laugh and that’s all I was…an entertainer.. instead of a leader.  I waste  lot of time too. I lie a LOT when that wasted time bears no good produce and Its become a habit..”waste time here… work extra hard there.. stay up late there..get distracted..do no work…” Its time to stop the foolishness.

3. I appreciate life a HELLUVA LOT MORE Waking up on a Monday morning to hear your good friend is missing and initially ignoring the possibility of death only to have it slap you in the face is the worst thing that may ever happen to you. On February 1, I had that experience. Patti-Ann Lothian, a girl who I’d loved before i met, only for her smile and after meeting , a genuine beautiful soul and being a friend, kindred goof, back up singer and amazing person had died. I guess its the suddenness of it. Just a couple hours before we were tweeting and we exchanged tweets about me not liking Jersey Shore and her being puzzled about it. I still haven’t gotten over it. I don’t think I ever will. Not now, in time maybe. But its still too fresh. This was the first time I cried so much. I hate to think about it because I get weak and tears feel like they’re ready to flow. But then I remember what a innate zest she had for life. What saddens me is that I remember tweeting about sending a text to a good friend at the risk of sounding gay about how much I loved him and she replied ‘Awww! I love bromance!’ I felt the need to tweet back I LOVE YOU TOO PATTI! But something tells me she knew. R.I.P. Patti. I’ll cherish the memories.

What I want form this hiatus is to be more focused, more time to spend on me and the challenge of changing aspects about myself that I never would have before.. wish me luck!

Sean A. J.

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Daily positivity is a necessity

Today, was a really interesting day. Its not like one of those ‘what the?’ interesting. It was more of a ‘Hmm.. everything is gonna be alright’. Woke up, still no water (thanks NWC) so I had to get it from a pipe downstairs. I’d planned what to do and what time to leave. But, as I’ve learned over and over again, you don’t control time, you just have to work with it.

Even after planning, I got to class 1/2 an hour late because I wanted to iron a shirt instead of looking for a T-shirt. It’s something  that at the last minute I consciously decided. Risa told me last night she’s gonna be on my case even harder for being more put together after walking into class sweaty from running at the bowl. I had to change to sit beside her :P

I missed most of the class but got all I could from it.

Then it was on to giving blood.

It was my fourth time giving and fourth time screaming. In my defense though, it’s not like a high pitched *ahhh*, its more of a ‘ah aahh ah* LMAO! Still, I CAN go without screaming its just the initial moment of the a thick needle piercing my skin… plus it either scares the person next to me and strangely provides some form of entertainment for anyone else.

Give blood? Check. Get a sticker that read ‘Hug me I just gave blood’? Double check. Walk up to a random pretty girl, tell her why I have the sticker and have her say no, how about another handshake…uhh. what?

When that happened, initially, it was more of a *Sean thinks to himself* “Do I offend? But I remember putting on that Axe Dark Temptation and a fresh stick o Trident gum is being demolished now. Huh?

After her even hotter friend, gave me a hug, I felt better. But she showed her true colors when the same friend wanted to sit beside her and she jokingly told her to sit on the ‘unhugged’ side. Honestly it kind of did hurt me a bit. Wanted to tell her what a bitch she was, but then again I pride myself on two things, being a gentleman and a Christian. So I tried to see things her way.

“A random guy walks up to me, who I’ve never met and wants to hug me? Maybe I should check if he’s clean (which she did ask, If I was clean, jokingly or not)”

It put me in check. Not everyone’s gonna be as nice as I am or smile a lot. People are people and they’re gonna differ. And with that difference may come the disregard for maiming  a guy’s feelings or the need to protect yourself from the possibility of harm. Either way… I’m unique and I’m gonna take life like a lesson every day. Learn from it.

The day got better though, every other girl after that gave me a hug afterwards. :) Who knew a sticker could start conversations?

Til next time

Sean A.J.

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Finding Sean…

                         

I’ve always been a fan of late bloomers and underdogs. Maybe its because the concept of rising from the ashes to amazing triumph is almost always a sure fire winner, especially when the circumstances surrounding the protagonist seems so far-fetched yet similar and familiar.

I guess, because I too was a late bloomer. High school was fun, but sometimes it felt as if I didn’t belong.

I blame this partly on my father. He wasn’t around to teach me what to say when you’re being bullied or how to be a man (whatever the hell that meant). The other part on being a twin. I was always compared to him. I hated it. I hated not being able to be my own person without having to have a comparison drawn. I hated feeling inferior to his better grades and me being told to be more like him. I hated how controlling the whole thing made him seem. I hated how naive I was. I also hated not being able to communicate what I felt to anyone. I hated that I bottled it up all inside.

In first form, I was awkward. It was strange for me to go from the top of my league in primary school to a new atmosphere. I remember once a popular kid in 5th form peed in the soap dispenser. Before I went into the bathroom, someone said dont use it cuz it wasnt really soap.

After I told my math teacher what happened, the kid threatened me and the vice principal had to intervene. I feel kinda silly I took the threat seriously, then again a threat is a serious matter

In the 8th grade, I was placed in a class with all new people. I was 13, overweight, short and didn’t have a clue how to survive. The role that came easiest to me was class clown out of a need to be like a popular kid I saw in the class.

I did what he did. Made people laugh, got good grades, participated in a bunch o school activities. But while having the gift to make people smile is one thing, to do it constantly, using it as a means of getting attention and a sense of belonging is another.

In 5th form I stole a CXC Geography past paper that we did as part of a practice test. I really had no reason and to this day I dont know why I actually did it. I just thought it was a regular paper. Turns out that paper was possibly (which I highly doubt) the paper we’d get in June and as a result of one being gone, the two forms faced suspension and not being able to graduate.

So I pulled a bad ass move but had heart so I couldn’t follow through. The next day, they called us into a room and interrogated us to find out ‘Who stole the paper’ That day was EPIC. What did I do? Crush the paper and throw it behind the door after they let us out to get the paper. After all… who’d think it was me. I eventually turned myself in, crocodile tears and all. The result- suspension and not being able to participate in the graduation ceremony.

But thank God for friends.

Even through the whole thing they stuck by me. Whether they cracked jokes on why I stole it or tried to make me feel better. After the ceremony Giselle came running to me, kissed me and gave me a hug. I’ll never forget that. I told her that seeing everyone graduating while I was in the crowd watching was the worst experience ever. She consoled me. I’ll never forget Sherie, Kade, Laura, Athenia, Sasha, Jermaine, Lisa, Jilleen, Patrice, Jovin, Deron, Tafari Iyasa Levene.. everyone from 11-3 & 4 who gave me a reason to come to school in the mornings

After sixth form, I’d slowly realized who I was as a person, as a young man didn’t depend on one person

 It also became a matter of who and what I let into my life. At one point that became porn, lying, stealing, people that caused mischief just for the heck of it among other things. I just wanted some attention dammit!

In retrospect, what I truly missed about growing up is two things- stability and a listening ear. Not having Daddy around, even him just being there would be enough. I never developed a bond, never had any moment where we’d talk about life and what to do when shit hits the fan. I mean I love my daddy, but that’s what he is. He has yet to be my father.

I found that in Kareem, my boss at Youthlink. He’s the first and only man I ever looked up to. I respect him a lot. He gave me some sense of stability, checked up on my work, made sure I did what I should. Kinda like the father I never had. If I messed up, he’d sit me down, (after cooling off) and let me know what’s what.

Despite everything, I’m glad things happen the way they do. I’m still figuring out who I am…so far the ride’s been worth it.

Til next time

Sean A. J.

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Be careful of what you say…

It’s strange. I knew I was going to learn a lesson today, as I do everyday, but this morning when Tessanne Chin’s ‘Messenger’ played I wouldn’t think it would be that.

“Yours words are weapons, so use them wisely”

“Shooting your brothers with your lyrical bullets”

“Teaching the children to go to war, life and death comes from the tongue”

“Poison or pleasure, which side are you on?” –

“Messenger”- Tessanne Chin

If it’s one thing I’ve learned in life is the power of words, and it’s amazing how they can take a toll on you. Growing up, I was a TV baby (yeah, I was a house rat, all I knew came from TV) and at one point, some where I heard the phrase ‘Sticks & stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt you” Yeah… that’s a lie. A big ass lie. Up there with the ‘I did not have sexual relations with that woman’ and ‘We invaded Iraq because…” lies.

Words make us who we are. It’s our primary (apart from body language) point of communication. It’s how we relate, how we teach, what we’re taught.

I’m writing this in respect to something that happened a while. I drew in Kemoya’s book for entertainment. I really shouldnt have. But as usual, my 5 second attention span failed me and I became bored.  As we usually do, we blast, laugh and let it go. It’s what we do as friends.

Its not so much that it happened, its how it came off. Somehow, it stung. I felt like it wasn’t warranted. I laughed…. pretended like it wasn’t a big deal. It hurt though. Shortly after, the security guard comes in and tells her she isn’t doing constructive work. He allowed her in the lounge cuz she said she’s coming to do work. What ensued was the on going cycle of her & ‘supa security (probably the most disliked security guard on campus) battling of her being here (she’s not in CARIMAC, but she might as well be! lol)

But it’s not what he said; it’s how he said it. He came off as arrogant, a nuisance.

She asked him if he was watching her, he said ‘yes’ in the most ‘Get-the-hell-outa-my-place before-I-kick-your-ass-outta-here kinda attitude.

Its the same thing that happens over and over. In every conversation, its how you come off that can determine everything. Be careful what you say.

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Do you Qualify? (A Sister’s poem and a brother’s response)

I first heard this poem last Sunday at The University Dance Society. Thought I’d share it

Sister’s Poem

Do you qualify to be the man I need you to be?
Will you be able to recognize the things you
need to see? Will you be able to understand, that
I’m a good woman and in my life I need a good man?
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to fertilize my unproduced seeds?
Can you fulfill, as I can, all of our needs?
Can you put me in my place if you see I am slippin?
Can you talk to me, wholeheartedly, not
constantly trippin??
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be called all mine?
Can you leave the other women and temptations
behind? Can you come to me with your problems and
not wait until it’s too late?
Can you stand up and admit if you made a mistake?
Do you qualify?



Do you qualify to be the honest ebony man I
would want you to be?
Would you be able to look me in my eyes and
admit your feelings to me?
Could you take me in your arms and make love to
me all night long?
Can you be sensitive and still be strong?


Do you qualify?



Do you qualify to be my friend as well as my
lover? Can you put our love before any other?
Can you cherish me as if I were Diamonds &
Gold? Can you make me feel like I’m the last
woman you’ll ever hold?
Do you qualify?



Do you qualify to be called a good man?
If I have doubts can you reassure me and understand?
Can your love intoxicate me as if I were High?
To be in my life, I need to know,



DO YOU QUALIFY?

The Brother’s Response:

You ask, do I qualify.
Can I fulfill your needs and become the man you need me to be?
My sister, are you prepared for what you’ve asked for?
Can you handle the responsibility?

Can you accept that, by GOD, I am the chosen?

one, the authority, the comforter, and the head?
Will you submit and willingly follow my path?
Or will you fight with me instead?



If I am your King, will you treat me as such?
Will I get the best of your beauty and poise?
Or will I be subjected to an appearance
neglected, and checked with some serious noise?
When I talk, will you listen?
I mean whole heartedly and feel me?
Or will you rush me just to make your point too?
Can I be the man at all times? Even when it hurts?
Or is it just when it’s convenient for you?

Can you love me for me, and not who you wish I could be?
Will you see the strong Black Man within?
Or will you always remind me of the all

the past brothers behind me and make me pay for their sins?

If I don’t send you flowers the day your co-worker
received some, will you know that I love you still?
Or will my good name be uttered along with those other doggish brothers?
Will you question if my commitment is real?

Will you be patient and teach me to understand you,
and allow my knowledge of your needs to grow?
Or will you shut me out when I ask, Baby
what’s wrong?
Or will you respond with, “Well a REAL man would know!”

When we first met, what was it that caught your
eye? Was it my mind, my heart, my personality?
Or was it my suit, or my job, or do you love
what I drive, instead of what’s driving me?

Yes I can, and I will, make love to you from midnight to the dawning of the sun.
But, if I tell you I’m tired, will you trust
I’m sincere or believe that there must be another one?
My sister, I love you and my heart can be yours. No woman could lead me astray.
But like you, I have needs, so I beg of you, please, in this love thang meet me half way.

In life’s tough times I’ll hold you, in the rough times I’ll mold you;
your simplest wish will be my command.
My life is yours if need be.
Yes you can fully bleed me, and when hell comes, in your place, I’ll stand.

A good relationship is a powerful institution that must be built on a foundation of two.
So to answer your question,
YES sister, I do qualify.


Now, more importantly…..! Do you

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