Stop, slow down, cherish life, always.
It’s ridiculous how ironic life is. On Sunday, I saw a tweet that described it perfectly. The tweet read- “Life is too ironic. It takes sadness to know what happiness is, noise to appreciate silence, and absence to value presence.”
About 5 hours ago, that same tweet surfaced in my head as I wrapped my jog at the Mona bowl. I was locked inside and thought I had no way out. Then I thought about Patti-Ann. And like every other time I think about her, my mind did the usual. I thought about how fleeting life is, I thought about how much I missed her and how losing her caused me to see how truly “un-invincible” I am. I also thought about how proud she would’ve been with the launch of PALFY last Saturday and how much work I’ll have to put in the coming weeks to get my final year project about her complete.
I even started talking to myself, finally giving up making sense of her passing and even within the nonsense realizing that, from every bad moment, some good must exist. Life can take the most painful experiences, tear us down, and later give us strength from those experiences. In a quiet confidence I started making promises to live a more fulfilled life, do less worrying, be more calm in the heat of the moment, be more concerned with my time, talent and money. Managing me for better productivity.
Two hours ago, I saw a Facebook status from my brother that had me in shock. Craig Chambers, (a gospel singjay known as Craig C) had died. I stared at the screen, and I shook a little trying to comprehend what I read.
A tear fell.
Then two.
I held my head down and had a flash back to the last time I saw him. It was eight hours ago. Eight. Just as he stepped out the bathroom at the Juici Beef on campus and I was going in. We hailed each other, smiled and did an elbow touch. Then I started to shake involuntarily- sadness, anger, confusion- all familiar emotions from the past year, rushed back. I sat in the library and quietly cried. I got a Facebook message that his cousin was being robbed and he tried to defend him and was shot in the face. He died on the spot.
It’s a strange feeling I’m having writing this. I’d never usually stop and have long conversations because I’d see him so often. I wish I stopped him yesterday and had that chat. Earlier, I had thought about myself and how I’d want to be remembered when I died. I thought about how much being a nice guy really does pay off in the long run and how encouraging it is to keep a positive outlook on life- that was Craig. Then this happens. Life is too ironic.
But I’ll be fine. After seeing his Facebook status, I know we’ll see each other again. Someday.
Rest in Peace Craig.
Love.
